If you’ve ever been to a dive bar, you know what a Megatouch game system is.

It’s video game system that’s at the corner of the bar, usually manned by a cracked-out Mexican or a crowd having a good time.

If there’s a joyful crowd around it, they’re probably playing Erotic Photo Hunt, the best bar video game ever invented.

We’ve played at many different locations around Boston, and the best score I was ever a part of was somewhere in the 390,000 point range. Some people claim to have topped a 1,000,000, which I find both disturbing and awe-inspiring.

The only great tips I have are to play with as many people from both sexes as possible, put the tall people in back, and divide the screen up among players.

Enjoy the following links:

Merit Industries, the manufacturer

Discussion about high scores and strategies

Another great discussion

Buy a used one for your house

German Politician Dumps Champagne On Hobo

Yet another narrowly-avoided GPBD. Apparently it’s not good press for politicians to pour alcohol all over homeless peeps, but I don’t understand why.

The hobo got a shower, a drink, and fame in a matter of minutes. If I was a politician, I’d be running my campaign as “the guy who washes hobos in champagne.” Who wouldn’t vote for that?

Utah Kids Dissect Live Dog

They sedated the pooch, then slit him open and yanked out his digestive system. What did they learn? That it’s far messier to disembowel a live dog than a dead one.

Follow-up: Finger in Wendy’s chili traced to relative

She should auction the finger off on eBay. Perhaps even claim that Jesus is visible in the fingerprint. Or that Monica Lewinsky was involved somehow.

Follow-up: On the Beach With Dave Chappelle

Setting the record straight, bitch.

British war hero ‘Donkey Man’ remembered

Donkey Man, a human/donkey hybrid who served in the British army during WWII, was responsible for killing over 5,000 enemy soldiers, and saving the lives of over 2,000 comrades. This weekend, Donkey Man was awarded a Silver Star, knighted, and took home First Prize in the Oxford State Fair Freak Show. Well done, old bean.