Man Builds Sculpture of Massive Spread Eagle

It’s even got a neon garter. Perfect.

I think he should just go ahead and build the rest of the giant woman. North Carolina needs it. If there was a 200-foot-long sculpture of a naked woman spreading her legs, there’d actually be a reason to visit the Duke Sucks State other than its loose slots and looser women.

Dave Chappelle Checks Into South African Mental Hospital

We all knew this was coming. With the runaway success of the first season of Chappelle’s Show and his ridiculous $50 million contract with Comedy Central, it was only a matter of time before DC moved to South Africa to escape his fame.

Good luck in your new scuba instructor job, Dave!

Pope Benedict XVI orders 185 gallons of beer from Stuttgart

That dude really does have the best job in the world. He should tap a few kegs out in St. Peter’s and throw a phatass Memorial Day party.

Catholics celebrate Memorial Day, right?