Cue the freaking AC/DC cause Family Guy is back and just as good as ever. The first new episode in decades, “North by North Quahog”, ran last night on FOX, and it was funny to moderately-funny. It was a solid, not-too-classic, not-stupid way to reintroduce the show.

It did feel a little forced at times but all-in-all, I have no complaints, and much love. I’d say my favorite part was the G.I. Joe scene warning kids not to drink vodka. Classico.

As far as the other cartoons were involved, The Simpsons are nearly dead to me now. When did Duke grads take over the show? That CBS Raymond plug at the end of the credits was pretty stupid. Even Family Guy plugged FOX a couple of times. Ugh, TV network humor sucks.

American Dad was just flat-out crappy. I think I laughed twice, and I may not ever watch it again. Wanna fight about it?

Download the .avi for the new episode:
“North by North Quahog” .torrent

Fans Enjoy Another Successful Coachella

If you’re one of the tools that blew their wad getting out to Coach this year, how was it? Sounds like it was pretty boring and that’s about it. You guys even got lower temps this year, making it nearly impossible for anyone to pass out between Air and Flaming Lips. You guys wish you had bands that good. Freaking Coldplay & Black Star. Hah!

Let the 2006 rumors begin.

Bollywood Names Hasselhoff ‘Star of the Year’

I’ve been shaking my head in saddened disbelief for about 15 minutes now.

England Pleads Guilty To Prison Abuse Charges

Extremely fugly Army private Lynndie England pleaded guilty today to seven overall counts of ridiculously hilarious abuse, taking the next step in the ugliest ordeal of her life. The maximum time she can receive is 11 years, which should give her enough time to read all of the blogs saying rude things about her. Hi, Lynndie!

LPGA Golfer Uses Caddie As ‘Unwitting Sperm Donor’

As we all know, LPGA golfers have insane body chemistries, making their urges and desires far more ridiculous than those of even normal women. In this particular case, Jackie Gallagher-Smith wasn’t having any babies by her husband and her biological clock was ticking down, so she conned a caddie into whipping out some baby batter and knocking her up.

Thankfully, Florida law provides that the child will not be deemed a bastard, due to the fact that the woman was in a marriage. Since the LPGA Knock-Up Law of 1978 went into effect in Florida, it is estimated that over 10,000 bastard and lesbian-trophy children have found homes.

“Official Site of the Haitian Cable Channel”