Lost a heartbreaking 2-on-2 basketball game between bandmates

Stole a Gil Hoy campaign sign in Brookline, marched it all the way home, and have been yelling his name off the porch since (pics coming) - BONUS! Election Day action!

Played tennis decked out in Richie Tenenbaum gear (pics coming)

Played air guitar with a drunken Mexican (pics coming)

Rubbed the toe at Harvard

Almost got killed by a gate in the Shaw’s parking lot

Ordered Chinese food about 5 times

Did not choke on the boba

Survived the soul-vacuum that is Harvard Law School

Got guff from the owner of The Greenhouse

Scored big at the Salvation Army

Chummed with the superdyke behind the counter at City Sports

Partied

Got tons of plants for the house at Home Depot

Watched a Sox game from the ridiculous view at Scott’s place (pics coming)

Watched the Sox and Marathon

and about a million other things… so tired…

There’s a new Pope, yo

I have quit my job and moved to Chicago to open a hotdog stand near the image of Mary. I figure that this is the real deal and millions of people will come to see it over the course of the next few decades, making me the most successful hotdog stand owner in history.

More: Photo slideshow

‘Monday Night Football’ headed to ESPN

This means they won’t have to bleep out John Madden all the time. He’ll be free to say whatever he wants to on cable, but it’s probably not a good idea. He’ll be fired after the first game for a highly pornographic and racist commentary regarding Brett Favre.

Mesa police want to add monkey to SWAT team

Say hello to the police dog of the future. Those mangy mutts can’t do half the things monkeys can do, except for dropping crap all over the place. I have the feeling that monkeys will be man’s new best friend.

Two Banned From Fenway After Sheffield Fight

That sucks if you go to a game and toss a beer on a jackalope like Sheffield, you get banned for the rest of the year. I say, the next time the Yankees are in Fenway, everybody in the stands dumps a beer on Sheffield. They can’t kick us all out, can they?

“Survived another Patriot’s Day Weekend”