Meet China’s Breakdancing Grandmother
Trying to take the title as the World’s Most Ridiculous Grandmother, this breakin’ granny is rapidly gaining on the rappin’ granny. As cute as the rappin’ granny is, her last album was a disappointment, while the breakdancin’ granny has fresh moves and a fresh audience.
The rappin’ granny plans to collaborate with Snoop Dogg, Justin Timberlake, and others on her 2006 album, which should put her back on top of the popularity charts, but the breakin’ granny says she will go on tour with Christina Aguilera this summer, making for a hot competition all year long.
Airports Begin Ban On Cigarette Lighters
The Great Paranoia continues. Over three and a half years after 9/11/01, the stupid restrictions keep a-comin’. I wonder how many shoes have been removed since Dick Reid’s failed bombing, and I wonder how many shoes have been potential weapons. I’m thinking 524,602,632,234 and none. But uh, God bless America… or something.
Santa Fe man, blind in one eye, shot in other eye
Donnie Darko, 16, of Middlesex, has been arrested on first degree murder charges, and will be unable to get back into his bed to re-alter the universe. In other news, Britney Spears’ sonogram reveals an adult koala.
Parent-Of-Year Winner Pleads No Contest To Abuse
This is a close 2nd for Most Irony of the Year Award.
Drinking Too Much Water Will Kill You
I think we should write into the Patriot Act that if anyone is caught buying more than a gallon of water at any one time could be considered a terrorist. If nothing else, it will curb the idiotic soccermom culture of buying trillions of gallons of bottled freaking water from Costco every week.
How many studies explaining that bottled water is the same as tap will it take to get their attention?
