Satan’s image on Indiana turtle’s shell

Freaking uncanny.

Fate of Terri Schiavo Rests With Judge

The whole deal about making her die by starvation freaks me out. If I was trapped in a veggie state, I’d prefer to go by being:

-Swallowed by a whale
-Dropped off the top of the Sears Tower
-Shot out of a cannon over the white cliffs of Dover

Man leaves trail of dead goats across four states

Only a man from Vermont could leave a wake of goat-death this large. The fool littered these goats all over Kentucky, possibly as a sacrifice to the UK basketball team. Duke sucks.

The story of the dude who got his sweatshirt caught in the MBTA escalator and croaked

This is pretty touching in that random-immigrant-got-eaten-by-an-escalator way.

“Official site of Andrew Bogut”

After two rounds of the beloved 2005 Men’s NCAA Tourney, the standings in our sweet, sweet pool can be viewed by clicking on zee graphic belowski:

Some highlights of the first two rounds:
West Virginia’s insane Double-OT slapping of Wake
“Uncle” Wayne Simien failing to pull a Christian Laettner
BC proving their worth. See you in hell, Dudley.
Kentucky thwarting the Islamic Jihad

Lowlights:
230 missed dunks and layups
71,524 missed free throws
Billy P-ACC-ker screaming like a little girl about Duke’s calls

Things I learned during the first two rounds:
The “U” in UConn definitely stands for “Ugly”
CBS has no limit to the number of times a commercial can be aired
Andrew Bogut can breathe fire
“Spring Break Shark Attack” is headed for an Oscar