Thanks to the new S. Carter Reebok, Jigga is the producer of the #1 ugliest shoe on the market today.

I tend to trust Jay-Z’s judgment as the basis of all of my decisions, but this shoe is straight donkey lips.

The whole ad campaign sucks.

The opening bass riff and then cymbal in Weezer’s “Only In Dreams” was played during the show, Now on WGBH, which is an interview/newsmagazine type of thing. Weird.

#1 purple pill in America, Nexium reminds us that “Better is Better”.

59 Linden March Madness Pool Rules

Simple instruction:
Fill in the winner of each game of the tournament.

Entry fee:
$10 per submitted bracket. Make sure your name is on your bracket sheet. Feel free to forward this to anyone you know. Anyone can enter.

Deadline:
All brackets and money must be in the official envelope at 59 Linden by 11:30 AM ET on Thursday, March 17.

To submit a filled-out bracket (WITH YOUR NAME ON IT):
Via email: chrisATsynapticblurDOTcom (replace the AT and DOT)
Via AIM: synapticblur
or give it to any resident of 59 Linden St

Note: If you want to fax it, email me for arrangements. Please arrange the entry fee before you submit your bracket.

Prize:
First place gets 75% and 2nd place gets 25% of the total cash. Winner will be announced on Tuesday, April 5.

Scoring by round:
1st round = 1 point (double-point upsets - see below)
2nd round = 2 points (double-point upsets - see below)
3rd round = 5 points
4th round = 10 points
Final Four = 15 points
Championship game = 25 points

Upset Special:
For the first two rounds, upsets (lower seed defeats a higher seed) are worth double points. i.e. if a #12 seed defeats #5 seed in the first round and you picked it correctly, you’ll get 2 points for that game, not just 1.

Opening Round:
Don’t worry about the Oakland/Alabama A&M opening round game - it won’t count.

Tiebreaker:
In the case of a tie, the entry with the most correct Final Four teams will win, and if still tied, the entry with the most correct first round games will win.

Any questions, email me at chrisATsynapticblurDOTcom (replace the AT and DOT) or ask someone who knows.

The Winner will be posted here on synapticblur.com or you’ll hear about it somehow, trust me.

Here are some links to brackets again:
ESPN: GIF | PDF
Yahoo: PDF
CBS Sportsline: GIF
NCAA: GIF | PDF

FBI Probe links McGwire to steroids in ’90s

Obviously, McGwire is as guilty as Canseco, Bonds, and Giambi of injecting anti-testes chemicals into their buttocksesses. Everyone keeps saying crap like “let him enjoy his retirement”, but since he’s perpetrated a massive fraud on us, whether or not it’s illegal, he should be vilified.

I suggest we start with small pranks such as house-eggings on McGwire until he personally requests that all of his career stats be wiped from the books, and that he give back 85% of his earnings.

Belarus supports China’s anti-secession law

This has to be one of the most useless headlines of ‘05 so far. China consulting Belarus on secession issues is like if we asked Bolivia for permission to drill in Alaska.

That reminds me, I think we should sell Vermont to Canada and hook up Puerto Rico with full-time statehood. Upgrade.

18-inch dog swallows 16-inch stick

Best mental imagery ever.

“Where the whip button is soaked in beer”