If you’re like me, you like spitting on the floor. Manage your mess with a classy spittoon from eBay

How to dance the “Honkytonkville” Buy yourself a dance floor while you’re at it.

Tell all of your friends that you went to BillBellamy.com today.

See where some random chick named Shawnee Smith starred in the Uncle Buck “backfire” scene. Then watch the video clip.

Our House has it. Your house should, too. Big Buck Hunter

Ratpalace.com: where rats are royalty. Fo sho.

Tons of oopses from the airline industry. (via land-o-links)

Four charged with slaying goat for crack cocaine

The plan was to trade the goat’s meat for crack. So what went wrong? Well, the goatslayers got greedy and wanted to get a quantity discount on the crack, so they mixed in several pounds of cat meat with the goat, but the dealer didn’t appreciate them cutting the product like that, so he had them arrested on animal cruelty charges.

Oh, the hijinks.

Man dies when hood caught in MBTA escalator

Korean whiskey strikes again.

Teacher pushed through plate glass window

Let this be a lesson to educators around the nation and globe. Unless you’re a kindergarten teacher, never ever try to break up a fight, because that will immediately cause the fighters to unite against you and do something like… throw you through some glass. Nothing brings kids together like the common hate for teachers. Just don’t go there.

Calif. Lawmakers Consider Mileage Tax

This should’ve been the subject of a Captain Planet episode. The Eastern Bloc chick was pretty hot, but the awkward relationship between that South American kid and the Green Mullet was too sketchy to ignore.

“What would Quddus do?”