Deep in the heart of Milwaukee, Wisconsin is the Captain Frederick Pabst Mansion. Some call it Li’l Mecca, some call it the House of Pain, but everyone knows it as the Center of the Alcohol Universe.
It’s like Pawtucket Pat’s crib but they have helper monkeys instead of Chumbawumbas.
In the Flemish renaissance house, you can take a tour, get married, and play paintball while fountains spew PBR and golden streams meander around the estate.
The rooms of the mansion are laden with the finest oak and diamonds that bootlegger money could buy. It is estimated that the Pabst family bootlegged over $5 billion in today’s money worth of beer during Prohibition through the mansion, which was disguised as a brothel.
It is said that ghosts of dead prostitutes and hobos from long ago haunt the mansion to this very day. And occasionally, Vincent Price’s voice will sound through the intercom. Yes, ghosts like to get crunk, too.
It’s unfortunate that we were unable to secure the name “Pabst Mansion” for our house, but perhaps with a little blackmail and threats, we can persuade the family to let us borrow the trademark.
The golden streams are the most important part of any PBR experience.
Comment by gnutz — February 17, 2005 @ 11:13 am
P-B-R Me A-S-A-P!
Comment by Lt. Dangle — February 17, 2005 @ 1:33 pm
Can you imagine how great it must feel to pour a PBR tallboy into a PBR stein like that?
Some call it a holy grail, some call it a pimp cup, I call it C4’s Money Cash Jiggy Jug
Comment by chris — February 17, 2005 @ 1:46 pm
I am ordering steins for the apartment!
Comment by Snackmaster3K — February 17, 2005 @ 1:57 pm
Three PBR steins, right? Or will the turncoat behave?
Comment by chris — February 17, 2005 @ 3:13 pm
I got thru college on PBR. Two bits for a 10 oz draft at The Two Keys. Those were the good ole days.
Comment by rf — February 18, 2005 @ 11:29 am