NHL Formally Cancels ‘04-’05 Season
Thankfully we’ve had NHL 2004 on PS2 all “season”, so we haven’t really missed it that much.
I think that whenever there’s a cancellation of a season in sports, that the highest-ranking representative of each side should be tarred and feathered in a public ceremony.
Kid Rock Arrested For Punching Strip Club DJ
It’s good to know that someone is finally standing up for the rights of strip club patrons against disc jockey tyranny.
For too many years, DJs have exposed us to the heinous beats of C+C Music Factory, Nine Inch Nails, and The Monkees in clubs, and we’re not gonna take it any more.
Let us join Kid Rock in abolishing this power that’s been so vainly abused. He may be our only hope.
Bracelets Reveal Secret Society Of Eating Disorders
What the hell is wrong with today’s teens? If anyone tried any of this “hey, let’s get bracelets” bullcrap back in my day, they’d be wearing a hospital bracelet instead. But whatever, that’s cool, I mean if you can tell people that you’re a virgin and anorexic with two simple bracelets, you’ve saved a lot of time and effort of inevitably embarassing yourself.
A Bunch of Nobodies To Star In Dunk Contest
This is easily the worst lineup the competition has ever seen. Anyone want to sign my petition for a midget 3-on-3 competition instead?
The “self-injury” bracelet looks just like my “Solidarity with Jake Plummer” bracelet. This would explain my many awkward conversations about the Broncos with scarred and emaciated 14 year old girls.
Comment by Earl Boykins...he's better than bad, he's good. — February 16, 2005 @ 6:21 pm
Explain to me again why Joke Plummer is gonna get an extension till 2009? The over/under in Vegas on him dying from an OD is May 2007.
Comment by chris — February 16, 2005 @ 7:51 pm
Plummer has been living in John Elway’s garage for nearly a year and a half now. Most of Denver, including Fuhrer Shanahan, is convinced that somehow this will translate to better quarterbacking by Jake. What they don’t know is that Jake has been frequently been found naked the 7th green of the Cherry Hills Village Golf Course around 3am shaking violently in the fetal postition, screaming, “DON’T THROW THAT PASS JAKE! DON’T THROW THAT PASS JAKE!”
Then again, what are the Broncos gonna do, pick up Drew Bledsoe?
Comment by Earl Boykins...he's better than bad, he's good. — February 17, 2005 @ 12:38 pm