“Offical website of the censored version of Breakfast Club”

NHL Formally Cancels ‘04-’05 Season

Thankfully we’ve had NHL 2004 on PS2 all “season”, so we haven’t really missed it that much.

I think that whenever there’s a cancellation of a season in sports, that the highest-ranking representative of each side should be tarred and feathered in a public ceremony.

Kid Rock Arrested For Punching Strip Club DJ

It’s good to know that someone is finally standing up for the rights of strip club patrons against disc jockey tyranny.

For too many years, DJs have exposed us to the heinous beats of C+C Music Factory, Nine Inch Nails, and The Monkees in clubs, and we’re not gonna take it any more.

Let us join Kid Rock in abolishing this power that’s been so vainly abused. He may be our only hope.

Bracelets Reveal Secret Society Of Eating Disorders

What the hell is wrong with today’s teens? If anyone tried any of this “hey, let’s get bracelets” bullcrap back in my day, they’d be wearing a hospital bracelet instead. But whatever, that’s cool, I mean if you can tell people that you’re a virgin and anorexic with two simple bracelets, you’ve saved a lot of time and effort of inevitably embarassing yourself.

A Bunch of Nobodies To Star In Dunk Contest

This is easily the worst lineup the competition has ever seen. Anyone want to sign my petition for a midget 3-on-3 competition instead?