Defrocked Priest Shanley Sentenced for Raping Boy
He got 12 to 15 years, but the over/under for his prison death is 5 ½ months. Previous priests have lasted from as little as 3 hours to as long as 10 months.
The most common type of inmate killings in Mass. state prisons is decapitation, but nationwide betting patterns indicate that Shanley will die from complications with “kitchenware inside his body cavity”.
Place your bets, folks.
Fowler buys Vikings, becomes first black NFL owner
Other ways to stupidly blow $625 million:
6,860 aquatic pod suites
20,833,333 Lindsey Lohan action figures
10,425,354 lamb & goat castrators
320,512,820 afro picks for Randy Moss
Foxx, Farrell Take on ‘Miami Vice’ Duty
To follow up his massive ‘Ray’ success, Jamie Foxx has decided to throw it all away with the upcoming filming of a Miami Vice movie. Colin Farrell has also signed on to sink the project, which will likely become his last job in Hollywood.
Farrell told reporters Tuesday, “I don’t know. I guess I’ll go back to Ireland and sweep poop behind elephants. I’ve always wanted to, and I’m not getting any younger.”
