Monthly Archives: February 2005
Broke as hell? Living off of rice and Pasta-Roni? Listen to the Vanilla Ice classic, “Havin’ a Roni” while you cook them.
Toro Magazine’s article about how hot Emily Haines is. Seriously, that’s about all it talks about. Pretty lame, but at least it provides us a new picture of her.
Defamer’s post about the hacked Fred Durst sex video, which is horribly NSFW, but can be found on Gawker.
Also, Defamer captures Keanu barfing out of a car. Excellent.
Too lazy to go to New York? Go see the The Somerville Gates instead.
Federer and Agassi one-up Tiger and play a match on the helipad of that crazy Dubai hotel. Great pics. I call foot fault on Federer.
You look like you need to take a quiz. Find out which Family Guy character you are here.
For some reason, this chick recorded a home-made rap song, “Pez”, which is as equally as beautiful as it is awful.
House house bitch 4 life!
Bizarre baby born with extra body parts dies
The article is full of great phrases like “look similar to an alien to poor parents”. And it attempts to describe what the child looked like, but failed to provide a graphic.
So in order to grasp how the tot appeared, here is an official artist’s rendering:
Hunter Thompson shot himself while on the phone
Let this be a lesson to all you women out there. If you’re married to a psychotic Kentuckian, do not nag him over the phone. Damn, we’re gonna miss him.
Temple suspends coach for rest of season
The worst coach in college basketball just got worse. That moron Chaney sent some thug out on the court to teach the St. Joe’s guys a lesson for their dirty picks, and the thug broke a dude’s arm.
Nice. Real nice.
And the thug fouled out in 4 minutes. That’s not easy, ya know.
Court: Man Can Sue Woman For Sperm Theft
Finally.
Moss traded to Raiders, C-Webb to 76ers, and
‘toine back to Celtics for the Glove
Who’s the freaking Raiders’ quarterback anyway? Kerry Collins? Gag. Remind me to pick Randy 50th overall next year in my fantasy draft.
Randy will either shoot or be shot by a fan by Week 5, and his fro will have its own jersey number.
Other than that, I predict a yawn-filled, 1,100-yard, 8 TD season unless they unfreeze Rich Gannon.
Blink-182 Goes on ‘Indefinite Hiatus’
I sent them a letter a while ago that basically said they suck and should break up. I’m glad that someone listens to me.
Perchlorate found in breast & dairy milk across US
This study boosts milk up the charts as now the second-most dangerous drink out there:
5. Urine
4. Extremely old Appleton’s rum
3. Black Grape Mountain Dew
2. Milk
1. Sulfuric acid
Saudis May Give Women Right to Vote
Saudi men are willing to concede suffrage to maintain the right to publicly beat, humiliate, and sell their wives. Whatever works.
Metacritic’s page for LCD Soundsystem’s new album. Pretty much everyone agrees that it’s better than anything that’s been released by anyone ever before.
Derby Club Owners World Edition is the perfect way to spend tons of hours drinking Heineken pitchers.
Do I feel bad about bringing the pain on those little punk kids and their little punk horses? No, no I do not. Talk to me when you can handle my panda-size.
This is what a G7 barre chord looks like. Don’t EVER forget it.
Alright, alright, since everyone’s probably seen it by now, here’s the uncensored version of Paris Hilton’s address book. I’d be pretty pissed if I was one of the celebrities in there who I’m sure have gotten a billion calls each from random idiots since this was hacked, but pissing off Fred Durst and Christina Aguilera is fun, so who cares?
If you are one of said celebrities, you may want to invest in this.