Monthly Archives: January 2005
Sandra Bullock Donates a Million to Tsunami Victims
Tax-deductible donations are one of Hollywood’s favorite ways of showing that they know the rest of us exist.
Also donated by Hollywood actors so far:
-A healthy donkey (Jeff Goldblum)
-400 lbs. of pot (Angie Harmon)
-”#@%$ ‘em” (Tim Allen)
-Velvet cadaver bags (CSI cast)
Follow-up: Man Charged With Aiming Laser at Aircraft
It turns out it wasn’t just a “laser” pointer pen, but a replica of the “laser” that Auric Goldfinger used to almost destroy James Bond’s package. It nearly destroyed two American Airlines pilots’ packages, which is a federal offense in some states.
Blog Readership Spiked in 2004
Everyone but mine. My readership actually downspiked. I had over 20,000 readers a day in 2003, and now I have approximately 2. I guess I shouldn’t have done that post that sent everyone a virus. So much porn was lost that day, I will never be forgiven.
Remember that MacGuyver episode where he builds a go-kart out of a trashcan, a wig, and some tampons? This is nothing like that.
| Official rating: | 86 |
Dance, sucka, dance. Move, sucka, Move.
The kings of electronica, Tom & Ed, mit freunden, have gone and reminded you that you’re definitely not better than they are.
Employing an even newer garage-glam, expert motion appeal, Push the Button throws down lyric tracks from Q-Tip (blah), Kele Okereke from Bloc Party (zap), Anwar Superstar (cut you), among others, and bouncetastic jam beats easily worthy of the innovations of their previous albums.
Then they hit you with a surprisingly clever duet from a collabo with The Magic Numbers. Slickedy slick. And no more cheesy Ricardo Ashcroft lines. Count it.
Thanks to an effortlessly meticulous effort from the Mancs, we can get a fun start to 2005, despite the nagging Jon-Benet mystery.
Dancetronica is alive, well on its way to being true futurepop, and very much kicking. Even at points, goths in steel-toed boots could even find time to dance to Push the Button, so watch your shins.
Please, for the love of god, go to this page and click as many links as you can possibly handle.
Many delicious treasures await you inside.
So freaking awesome.
Other sweet links:
-Diary of Ms. Vicki the rockstar stalker and her ridiculous Photo album
-Previews of VH1′s new Celebreality shows
Includes footage of Mini Me completely wasted.
We didn’t leave the theatre because the movie was bad, we just weren’t there to see it. We were just killing time. We could have stayed, but there nothing compelling enough in the film to warrant it.
In the opening scene, Zissou’s newest film is presented to an opera house full of e’er-do-wells, receiving yawns and disappointment. How freaking fitting.
Every facet of the movie seemed narcissistic, bloated with gobs of unnecessary scenes and lines. The plot went nowhere fast, tongue-in-cheeking us to death with uninspiring pseudowit and forced self-farce.
I’m sure it’s been said a billion times before, but if you’re looking for another “Das Royal Tenenbaums”, you’ll either have to wait for Wes Anderson’s next try or make it yourself.
| Official rating: | 65 |
This thing felt like a confused entry in a modsnob’s diary.
Beautiful Americans and Brits cheating on each other with each other. There are a few good points made in the film, like… well, nevermind.
It’s basically just a fast-paced one-linerfest that plays with the idea of successful people being sexually vulgar, each in a different way.
One’s a stripper, one’s a pornaholic, one’s a liar, one’s a revolving divorc�e. You get the idea.
Qatar replaces child camel jockeys with robots
The president of the Qatar Childrens’ Camel Jockey union Local #3944 calls the move “cowardly”.
In 2004, twenty-seven children were killed in camel accidents, raising concerns for their safety in the sport.
The childrens’ union has demanded that children be allowed to race camels, no matter what the safety risk, because otherwise, most of them would be trapped in Temple of Doom-style slave prisons.
It appears that all 370 current child professional jockeys will be sent back to various prisons for the rest of their lives unless a courageous hero can collect some stones or something.
Rummy says Sept. 11 flight over Pennsylvania was ’shot down’
He admitted to shooting it down himself… maybe…
From the Extremely Sketchy files:
John “Uncle Jesse” Stamos desperate for new love
John Stamos’ 2005 New Year’s Resolutions:
-Bang the Olsen twins
-Call his mom using 1-800-COLLECT
-Hold a job for more than 2 paychecks
-Invent the bionic colon
UAE sees snow for first time ever
That’s pretty cool. I guess all that crap about greenhouse gases and ice caps was wrong.
Synapticblur’s Sweet 16 Albums of 2004 Countdown
01. The Arcade Fire – Funeral [more]
02. Franz Ferdinand – Franz Ferdinand [more]
03. AC Newman – The Slow Wonder [more]
04. TV on the Radio – Desperate Youth, Blood Thirsty Babes [more]
05. The Go Find – Miami [more]
06. Junior Boys – Last Exit [more]
07. Scissor Sisters – Scissor Sisters [more]
08. Death From Above 1979 – You’re A Woman, I’m A Machine [more]
09. Air – Talkie Walkie [more]
10. Madvillain – Madvillainy [more]
11. The Go! Team – Thunder, Lightning, Strike [more]
12. Pinback – Summer in Abaddon [more]
13. The Hives – Tyrannosaurus Hives [more]
14. Ratatat – Ratatat [more]
15. The Black Keys – Rubber Factory [more]
16. Animal Collective – Sung Tongs [more]
Synapticblur’s Top 10 Photos of 2004 Countdown
01. Any Red Sox Pictures – [more]
02. “Vote for me or I’ll beat you with this corn” – [more]
03. “We All Won (any Sharapova pic)” – [more]
04. “Worst Dog Ever” – [more]
05. “ESPN Called It” – [more]
06. “K.K. is hotter than all of us combined” – [more]
07. “Got goat?” – [more]
08. “Cocaine is a wonderful drug” – [more]
09. “How Julia Child Died” – [more]
10. “Cheaters Never Win (A-Rod’s Slap)” [more]