Catfish licking: a new high?

How many people would be willing to lick a catfish that weren’t already hallucinating?

The only measurable effect that one gets from licking catfish slime is the loneliness they feel after spending six months in a hospital after contracting thousands of bacterial infections. Cyyyycliiiicaaal!

First goat found with mad-cow disease

If our goat meat supply gets tainted, we could have a disaster of epic proportions on our hands in West Virginia. And we promised we wouldn’t let something like this happen again.

Audit: $9 Billion Unaccounted for in Iraq

This comes as no surprise. Did anyone check Dubya’s bank account? I’m not sure, but it also may have something to do with that $8,000,000,000 bill Paul Bremer racked up at Gams, Baghdad’s hottest strip club.

Nebraska Supreme Court: Sex with dogs still illegal

I know, I was surprised, too.