This chick was shot last night in NYC. She told the muggers, “What are you going to do, shoot us?” She promptly died from a gunshot wound to her chest.

Cheney dresses down at Auschwitz ceremony
What a jackass. I’d rather have Dan Quayle back.

Who wrote this headline? Absolutely retarded.

Dick Head’s resume

Paradise Rock Club on Amazon’s photo tour page thing. Take a tour down Comm. Ave to Linden St. You can see our house behind a tree.

Too fat? Get some discount obesity surgery from Dr. Pedro

Condensed Bob Woodward. Highlights from his 2004 book, Plan of Attack. Totally sweet.

Boston Globe’s 2005 local acts to watch
They definitely all suck. Suckedy suck suck.

“Soon to be owned by Yahoo!, Inc.”

You’ll keep asking yourself, “Is that Morrissey’s son?”, but you’ll never get a satisfying answer. And you’re missing the point. Don’t let the hair fool you, the singer is way more of a ’50s punk and less of an ’80s rockstar than Morrissey ever was.

Despite the teutonic dancedrums and feathery synth that highlight each song, The Bravery are not an ’80s band, nor do they strive to be. The crowd at TT’s couldn’t really figure that out and have fun. They wanted a more serious mod band.

But The Bravery isn’t designed for it. They’re built on popjam guitar licks and erratic, almost farcical vocals.

That, and the bassist’s impressive ability to chug bottle after bottle of beer while somehow cutting riffs at the same time.

Maybe the crowd was just in a bitchy mood because it was so cold outside, cause it took more than a while for them to warm up to and appreciate Das Bravery. If they come back when it’s warm and play the Middle East, I guarantee you it will be one of the most fun shows of the season.

Global warming ‘twice as bad as previously thought’

By the year 2009, Kentucky will have beachfront property, Manhattan won’t exist, and most of us will live on the moon. So they say.

Massive cow manure mound burns for third month

The other day I was asking myself what Nebraska is famous for these days:

-Football?   No, they suck now.
-Vicious gay murders?   No, that was Wyoming.
-2000-ton flaming piles of sh!t?   Bingo.

Gitmo Soldier Details Sexual Tactics

One of maledom’s biggest fantasies is to have a sexy female interrogator get “info” out of them. But:

“…smearing a Saudi man’s face with fake menstrual blood.” ????

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm….. I think I’ll pass.

Strom Thurmond’s Secret Daughter Speaks Out

“I’m glad he’s dead,” she said. No wait, that was me.

Nicorette, NASCAR sign sponsorship deal

I contend that being a NASCAR fan will take more years off your life than smoking. Nicorette can’t save you from substandard housing, intrafamilial relations, and talking like there’s a squirrel lodged in your throat. Or can it?