Raleigh, NC freaks out about 1″ of snow

Raleigh has a history of freaking out about little things:

1824: President Andrew Jackson describes Raleigh as “boring”. Over 1,000 residents march to Washington in protest.

1907: President Teddy Roosevelt says Raleigh is “desolate”. Over 5,000 residents march to Washington in protest.

1995: President Bill Clinton calls Raleigh a “%#@&ing $#!%hole”. Over 50,000 residents march to Washington in protest, but turn back around Richmond after realizing he was right.

Scientist wastes 18 years of his life on space project

Don’t they all?

Alcohol-free beer ‘stops cancer’

The only animals that actually drink alcohol-free beer are lab rats. But who are we to judge?

Hamilton College devises new BS funding campaign

Now the scumbags want $175 million of my money to improve the campus. Call it sad, but I think a snotty school like Ham-tech should be able to maintain its grounds from the hundreds of millions they hit us up for a couple years ago. Can we get an auditor up in here?