“Boooooooooooooooo!”
January 5, 2005
Wednesday 
Ashlee Simpson Heavily Booed at Orange Bowl
The only thing that could make people boo louder than for a 55-19 blowout, terrible, awful, shameful, disgusting national championship game is Ashlee Simpson and her giant anarchy sign.
She’s pretty groundbreaking, however, in her ability to be a terrible popstar, and I can’t wait to see what her next move will be.
I predict sex with animals onstage.
Army Reserve overextended, general says
In response, the Pentagon has initiated the Thunder Paw Strike, which provides for reservists to be replaced by knife-wielding monkeys by August 2006.
Colby College Students Enjoy Beer and Wine in Dining Hall
It appears that even the administration has noticed how prude Colby girls are. I mean ugly.
Delta Slashes Fares, Airline Shares Drop
‘Bout effin’ time.
Heidi Klum and Seal engaged to wed
This reminds me of a joke:
A penguin is driving through Arizona when he notices that the oil-pressure light is on. He gets out to look and sees oil dripping out of the engine. He drives to the nearest town and stops at the first gas station.
After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around town. He sees an ice-cream shop and stops in. He gets a big bowl of vanilla ice cream and sits down to eat. Having no hands, he makes a mess trying to eat with his flippers.
After finishing his ice cream, he goes back to the gas station and asks the mechanic if he’s found the problem. The mechanic looks up and says, “It looks like you blew a seal.”
“No, no,” the penguin replies, “it’s just ice cream.”
