Judge OKs Pacers star’s return for Pistons rematch

One minor detail: the NBA itself did not agree to consult an arbitrator. So David Stern doesn’t give a crap, and when David Stern doesn’t give a crap, people die.

The sole reason the arbitrator “arbitrarily” is allowing O’Neal to come back after 15 games is so that he can play in the Christmas Day matchup with the Pistons. Ratings? Bets? Everything.

I listened to Steven A. Smith ramble about this. Trust me.

Career determines a person’s hairstyle

Short, with part: Banker, Serial Killer
Short, without part: Mechanic, Weight-loss Guru
Mullet: Taxi Driver, Country Musician
Afro: Crime Analyst, Pimp
C-Fro: Taxi-driving, crime-fighting, singing pimp

Weight loss ‘guru’ guilty of sexual assault

Hm, any woman who’s comfortable with attaching pulsating electrodes to her groin, and is without suspicion of sexual assault after that, a massage, and a breast measurement can e-mail me at any time to sign up for my new weight loss program.

‘Friends’ writer amusingly harassed by colleagues

If you’re sitting at your desk at work, and your co-worker taps your shoulder and you turn around and he’s sitting there naked saying “check out my package”, you must either be a ‘Friends’ script writer or a Harvard grant administrator.