“Official site of leaving work early, chumps”

Turning Poop Into Gold

Best alchemy ever.

With this new technology, we’re all practically sitting on gold mines.

Ah…hah…hah…

No, really, this guy is an idiot.

Conductor Kills Self Inside L.A.’s Crystal Cathedral

Johnnie Wayne Carl (ha!), “famous” for his arrangements with John Tesh and Celine Dion, shot himself while barricaded in a bathroom after a 9-hour standoff. I imagine it would take at least 9 hours to come to terms with all of the disgusting music he made before he could go loudly into the night.

Ol’ boy apparently had a problem with “personal pressures, job, and things around him, dealing with people around him.” I guess this is what hanging around televangelists and 10,000 Christian gluttons every day will do to you.

12 million bees spill on Vegas highway

First of all, I can’t believe the headline CNN chose for their page. Who knew soccer moms wanted to be journalists?

Secondly, it claims firefighters doused the bees in water to kill them. Is that all it takes? Maybe I should rethink using a shotgun to do it then.