Beavers launch attack on U.S. infrastructure
Over 10 million ravenous beavers have flooded into the country from Canada over the last 2 weeks, wreaking havoc on America’s pipes, crops, and peglegged pirates.
The Department of Homeland Security has vowed to eradicate the beavers, and has outlined a plan to hire several million Southerners to hunt and kill them.
BCS once again fails to satisfy
Definitely looking forward to:
MPC Computers Bowl - Fresno St. vs. Virginia
Emerald Bowl - New Mexico vs. Navy
Silicon Valley Bowl - Troy vs. No. Illinois
Oh, and the national championship game will be good, too. So, now that the BCS has been a debacle for pretty much every year of its existence, can we get some playoff love?
Miami WR Boston tests positive for ‘roids
Easily the most jacked player in the NFL for years, David Boston has become the latest of the overly-obvious steroid busts in pro sports. In October, Boston’s roid rage caused him to assault an airport gate agent in Vermont, reportedly in a dispute over Vermont’s same-family marriage laws.
New details in Tillman friendly-fire death
As soon as we all heard that P.T. was toast, we knew this wouldn’t go away quietly. After about a month, the guvment acknowledged that his death was due to friendly fire, but they waited until now to release details about the gorillas.
Soccer player lops off finger while celebrating, gets yellow card
All because his wedding ring got caught on a fence. Marriage has now resulted in that man having something both physically and metaphorically chopped off.
Volvo designs concept car for tha ladiez
Surely it features auto-pilot…
