Women subjected to humiliating airport searches
Airport screeners have an unspoken game among themselves in which they compete to see who can get a passenger to endure the most ridiculous search.
The technique explained in this article, known as the “Jay Leno”, features groping of bare breasts.
The current leader in the nation-wide game is Darnell Watkins of Houston, Texas, who got a female passenger to strip completely down, lick his shoes, and ride the mechanical bull in Concourse B.
Ukraine election protests spread to Ottawa
Ukraine and Canada, the only sovereign nations useless enough to be called “breadbaskets”, are immeasurably connected through their lack of politics, culture, and opportunity. The only nation on earth that is more worthless per capita is Ukranada. Oh wait, that doesn’t exist.
Let’s face it, the Cats are gonna be nasty. Best freshmen in the nation. Could probably even beat the Charlotte Bobcats.
Ricky Williams’ reinstatement deal
As part of his punishment for quitting on the Dolphins, the team is requiring him to get into a giant tank with 6 horny male dolphins and if he can kill them before they kill him, he can come back. Good luck, Ricky!
