-Warming Could Lead To Squid Boom
-Peru seizes cocaine haul hidden in giant squid
The Great Squid War is upon us. Several hostile Asian nations, including China, Japan, India, and Brunei, have begun to unleash the first wave of countless millions of heat-seaking squid towards the Western Hemisphere.
The squid are powered during the several thousand-mile journey across the Pacific by huge individual caches of cocaine loaded into their body cavities.
Preliminary reports estimate the squid army will reach North and South America en masse on Wednesday afternoon. Let us pray.
Campaign For ODB’s Loot Hits Battleground States
With an estimated $225 million in free cash up for grabs, many strong candidates are vying for the estate of Ol’ Dirty Bastard.
Currently, his widow and mother of his 3(??) children, Icelene has a solid grip on public opinion, which will determine the winner in a Fox-televised nationwide call-in election.
Also on the ticket is a powerful conglomerate of hookers that has been lobbying for the money since before ODB’s death. The New York Times and United Auto Workers have lent their public support to the whores’ cause.
Thank god for squids, hiding cocaine in JR’s rectum became too dangerous. now with the use of squids i do not have to go to the doctors for mouse and rat bites….
Comment by Snackmaster3k — November 16, 2004 @ 11:35 am
Mariners have long stuffed squids full of wares since ancient times for long distance package delivery.
Their protein bodies insulate the goods from seawater damage, and their carcasses provide a tasty appetizer to the recipient.
Comment by chris — November 16, 2004 @ 12:57 pm
Damn hooker’s union, always after ODB’s bling. Good thing I hid some for myself….shit, I should’nt have said that, damn hoes are ringing my door bell….gotta go.
Comment by a-money — November 16, 2004 @ 1:46 pm