“#1 seller of counterfeit jeans on the web”
November 5, 2004
Friday 
Nat’l Guard F-16 Fires Ammo at Middle School
Only in New Jersey. The pilot either confused “target range” on her map for “middle school”, or was so pissed that her daughter’s 4th grade teacher gave her child a D, that she felt it was necessary to try to kill everyone in the school.
Look, moron, your little girl probably deserved the D. And you deserve, oh, 15 years in the big house for attempted murder of so many precious children. Count it as another life that the National Guard has ruined.
Thanks a lot, Iowa. Not like you mattered anyway though so, don’t cry. I’m not sure which one I had less faith in: Dubya to lead the country, or Iowa to not elect Dubya, but it appears that both are battling to the bitter end to disappointment me.
Three sentenced for golf with prostitutes
“Sheriff’s deputies wearing camouflage raided the second tournament, detaining 90 golfers and 17 strippers and alleged prostitutes, along with golf course workers.”
Winning Stuff Rules
| Yesterday at the annual department awards ceremony, I got the “Resource Stewardship Award” basically for saving the City $80,000+.
My sweet, sweet prizes were: a) a certificate in a frame b) a space pen c) some recycled wrapping paper These are the things that get me up in the morning. That, and embezzling from many of the City’s unnoticed accounts. It’s always good to know that my co-workers support and appreciate me, despite the fact that I tell them every day that I’m quitting because they’re terrible and smell like seaweed. I truly heart them all. |
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