November 2, 2004

Crappy Political Parties permalink

Thermodynamic Law Party

thermodynamic law partyThis has to be the nerdiest cause I’ve ever heard of.

The goal of this particular political party is to have the Constitution abolished, and have certain physicists’ laws be our nation’s standard.

For example, Welsh’s 5th law of thermal energy states that light is absorbed by metallic entities faster than sound while underwater. Uh, so does that mean I can be naked in public or what?

Prohibition Party

Lame. Lame. Lame. Lame. Lame. Lame. Lame.
No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

Light Party

light partyThe Light Party has several major agendas/problems, the most important is that America develops a second sun, but with magnetic properties so that it follows Earth’s spin, and causes daylight in the U.S. 24/7.

Personally, I enjoy nighttime quite a bit, so I’ve taken the liberty to send a dead skunk inside a cardboard box to their headquarters.

Pansexual Peace Party

What was once the mighty Whig party has become the oft-mocked Pansexual Peace Party.

pansexual peace partyEver since Franklin Pierce, 12th president of the United States and Whig party member, declared his pansexuality, the public opinion of this organization has dramatically declined.

I guess America just doesn’t like open, loud, colorful sex in public that much. Not like Sweden, anyway. Some day…sigh

General — Posted by: chris @ 2:03 pm


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