#1 Anti-Grape Soda Website in America”
November 30, 2004
Tuesday 
Protesters Storm Fence at Ukraine Parliament
I hope by the time this is all said and done, there’s an entirely different country sitting where Ukraine used to be. It’s a corrupt nation with vast economic and social problems. Some say it’s the new Kamchatka.
Pastor Used Fear Of Satan To Have Sex With Women
This is definitely the technique I’m going to use next time at a bar.
“Yo, Legs, if you don’t start grinding on my thigh, the devil is going to give you massive cancer and stab your family.”
Perfect.
Ah, the Catholic Church. My favorite source of Satan-related pickup lines.
This must be God’s hilarious way of punishing him for 20+ years of stealing money from the lab and spending it on boy prostitutes.
Bad joke gets better for police
Just read the story, trust me
November 29, 2004
2005 Coachella Lineup
i heard from a guy/girl who heard from a guy/girl who heard from a guy/girl, but not even:
| SAT APR 30
|
SUN MAY 1ST
|
November 26, 2004
Friday
Burma Says It Will Free Over 5,000 More Prisoners
In related news: Nike hires 5,000 new employees.
That’s nothing. I’ve peed from tougher positions than that:
-standing out of a limo
-riding Space Mountain
-On Red Wings’ bench while straddling plexi-glass
17th Century British Porn to Be Auctioned
These writings are considered to be the oldest published porn in Europe, but some Austrians claim that Weimann’s Gummikugeln und Alkohol was Europe’s first pornography.
It was nearly 40 years later when France offered La Gonade. Germany’s first schiesse magazine did not appear until 1912.
From Verses by Sodom author, John Wilmot:
In liquid raptures I dissolve all o’er,
Melt into sperm and, and spend at every pore.
A touch from any part of her had done’t:
Her hand, her foot, her very look’s a cunt.
Worst porn ever.
November 24, 2004
Wednesday
Women subjected to humiliating airport searches
Airport screeners have an unspoken game among themselves in which they compete to see who can get a passenger to endure the most ridiculous search.
The technique explained in this article, known as the “Jay Leno”, features groping of bare breasts.
The current leader in the nation-wide game is Darnell Watkins of Houston, Texas, who got a female passenger to strip completely down, lick his shoes, and ride the mechanical bull in Concourse B.
Ukraine election protests spread to Ottawa
Ukraine and Canada, the only sovereign nations useless enough to be called “breadbaskets”, are immeasurably connected through their lack of politics, culture, and opportunity. The only nation on earth that is more worthless per capita is Ukranada. Oh wait, that doesn’t exist.
Let’s face it, the Cats are gonna be nasty. Best freshmen in the nation. Could probably even beat the Charlotte Bobcats.
Ricky Williams’ reinstatement deal
As part of his punishment for quitting on the Dolphins, the team is requiring him to get into a giant tank with 6 horny male dolphins and if he can kill them before they kill him, he can come back. Good luck, Ricky!
