As the Official Homepage of Game 7 of the ALCS, synapticblur.com will feature hardcore in-depth analysis, ridiculously expert commentary, and every single highlight possible.

From the first pitch to the last out, we’ve got all your m%tha-f#$kin bases covered.

Rely on synapticblur for the wicked badass post-game coverage that you can effin’ trust, biatch.

8:56: Posada flies out to deep right in front of the Yomiuri wall ad, which is possibly the ugliest part of any ballpark in America.

9:12: Schilling’s bloody sock is making me nauseous.

9:29: Bellhorn’s shot hits a fan in the left field seats. That means it’s a home run. Matsui, the fans, even Dale Sveum could tell. Reason and sanity must prevail.

9:31: HR. 4-0, Sox. Thanks, Biggie.

10:32: Ronan Tynan’s ears are ridiculous. He could play Yoda with those things. If Yoda was a big, fat Irish guy.

10:48: Sox bullpen in the series so far:
14 2/3 IP, 11 H, 1 R

10:50: Joe Buck says Lieber’s been perfect since Bellhorn’s HR.

10:52: Lieber gets yanked.

11:16: 20th retarded Yankee sign in the crowd. “Yes We Can” - brilliant.

11:19: WTF?!?!?! A-Rod just SLAPPED the ball out of Arroyo’s glove. He’s definitely out and Jeter’s back to 1st, otherwise, I will shoot the TV.

11:23: Umps talking it over. Again. Meanwhile, in the replay, A-Rod 1) went out of the baseline, 2) clearly interfered, and 3) didn’t even touch first base. Yet, for some reason, 1B umpire Randy Marsh immediately called him safe. Investigation???

11:28: A-Rod’s lips are blushing.

11:28: Officially calling it now: Broncos & Pats in the AFC Championship.

11:40: Tons of security swarm the foul territory. Things being thrown on the field. Joe Buck: “dangerous” - wait a minute, was that just Hitler on TV? Developing…

11:54: Cops out, Foulke in. Matsui walks. McCarver says that is “as bad as a home run.”

12:00: Oh, sweet lord, let us not dread midnight @ Yankee Stadium.

12:08: I’m so glad this game comes down to Tony Clark. I predict a strikeout.

12:10: Game Over. Tomorrow is the Apocalypse.

Today, the President and Senator Kerry will stop in Iowa, hoping to scam those precious, unimportant votes out of the Corn State.

In 2000, I didn’t even go to Iowa. I actually didn’t find out what “Iowa” was until two years after the election. Hell, I lost by only 537 votes, and still Iowa wouldn’t have mattered.

-Big Al Gore

“#1 Red Sox website on the Internet”

All players must drink any time:

01. The Sox get hosed on any call
02. Anyone calls out Posada for looking “rat-like”
03. Cameras show a stupid ass Yankees sign
04. Tim McCarver screws up a call
05. Tim McCarver makes up a word
06. Joe Buck gets a call right even before the umps
07. Anyone says “sheath”
08. After highlighting Matsui, they show an Asian fan
09. Joe Torre appears comatose or asleep
10. Any reference to Rivera’s tragedy
***(Social drink for calling out “pool cleaners”)
11. That jackass animation “Scooter” comes on
12. Anyone says “fisted”
13. Pitching change
14. Mention of Schilling’s experience with D’backs
15. Overly disgusting close-up of any pitcher’s face
16. Cameras show Brian Cashman looking antsy
17. Any shot of dumb chick Yankee fans
18. Any shot of Felix Heredia
19. Any replay of Jeter going face-first into stands
20. Anyone mentions Giambi’s intestinal parasite

Red Sox First Ever to Force Game 7 from 3-0 Down

…setting up the most dramatic game in baseball history. Buzz….buzz….buzz….buzz…buzz…

Woman Uses Billboard to Find Husband

Any woman that advertises herself on a billboard and actually has hopes of it working without causing any embarassment to herself has got to be the ugliest woman alive.

The one guy who will respond will probably have elephantitis, gout, syphilis, and childhood mumps.

Police kill India’s ‘Robin Hood’

“He often boasted of beheading his victims and once said he cut up his victims and fed them to fish.”

You think that’s bad? Guatemala’s Robin Hood is known for molesting animals, and even Canada’s Robin Hood has had four sex changes.