1. Choose a popular event well in advance

Thanks to the internet, figuring out concert schedules and venues has become much easier over the last few years. You can spot a Bon Jovi Meadowlands show 6 months in advance, if not over the web, but by the toothless cheer belching out of New Jersey. Tip: If you get on a band’s mailing list, you’ll get up-to-the-minute info as well as a lifetime of boring, worthless emails.

2. Watch for pre-sales and releases of tickets

Whenever tickets go on sale in limited quantities ahead of the “general release”, you better jump on it, son. You’ll have the best seats by far, and you can pretty much name your own insane price. This is typically the easiest way to get premium tickets other than murdering rich people in their homes while they sleep.

3. Determine your market size and price

Never underestimate the number of people willing to pay you a ton of money for a scalped ticket. You must have the used car salesman mentality. Everyone is a customer, even if they’re not interested. When you’re walking down the street, grab a random person’s arm and demand they buy a ticket from you. Threats are not out of the question.

4. Exchange tickets with seller

Whether it be a face-to-face sale or an online transaction, you have to control the situation from the start. When talking to the customer, always use a forceful, if not angry tone. Use firm, crippling handshakes and when the deal has been made, quickly run off. You’ve got the money, so get the hell out.