“Electricity provider to over 700,000 Tennessee residents”
September 10, 2004
Sexual Predators 101 
| The Rambler When life on the road gets him down, he shines his boots and hits the town. This type of predator, indicated by the grimy skin and bulbous nose, typically fancies casinos, where the bright lights and free booze really set him off. And I mean REALLY set him off… |
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| Billy the Kid At first he appears innocent like “the nice kid next door.” But LOOK OUT when he sneaks in the back door and plays tickle-monster with your 7-year-old boy. Ah, to think he used to babysit for you. |
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| Uncle Lester The one family member that wasn’t ever allowed to attend any gatherings. The family secret’s out and Unky Lester’s little groping problem is worse than you thought. One of worst types of sexual deviant. |
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| Sweet ‘n’ Sour You order General Gao’s Shrimp and Sweet ‘n’ Sour rings your doorbell. But your little girl answers it. So he offers her a fortune cookie, and sweet talks her into his car. Then in frustrated broken English, he orders her into the backseat and gets real sour, real fast. Her fortune should’ve said “Never trust a man with tinted glasses.” |
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Friday
Boston man throws ‘horny bi-dad’ orgies across street from junior high school
yes, the police knew about it.
i bet they even used police money to pay for the orgies. using taxpayers’ money for private police gay orgies? that’s just not right.
Two-headed baby born in Afghanistan
so THAT’s what two-headed baby looks like…
ahhh, ok.
crazy.
i guess i pictured something different.
hmm…
Smelly robot eats flies to generate its own power
it was only a matter of time before machines were developed whose power sources were carbon-based life. the sweet, sweet sugar inside the skeletons of insects powers this particular piece of crap.
the next step will be to develop household appliances that run off of dead skin, then cars that use blood for fuel, and ultimately, armies of giant radioactive killbots that feed off of humans. after all, necessity is the mother of invention.
