Red Sox sweep A’s; psyched to watch Patriots on tv
As of today, the Sox are 2 games behind los Spankees, 5 games up on Anaheim, and 33 games up on the Mariners in the wild card race.
“All of these wins and beatings have been nice, but we’re ready for the Pats to start the season. That Tom Brady has such a nice ass and eyes,” slugger David Ortiz said Wednesday after the Sox’ 8-3 win in Oakland.
Related: A-Rod likes the two-hole
In a popular but disturbing trend, Florida appears to be in the path of yet another massive hurricane, or “pain bomb”, as Floridians call them. Ivan kicked it up to 160 mph and plans on destroying the hopes and dreams of Jamaicans and Cubans before it sinks its teeth into America’s wang. 2004’s hurricane season has been God’s way of recycling mobile homes.
Intern MD Injects Patient With Olive Oil
Over the last 45 days, a group of Greek assassins have been attempting hits on influential people, striking fear in the hearts of many wealthy Australians. More developing…
Kerry played bass on 1961 album with rich loser kid friends
Dass right, ol’ Crackalack himself ripped it up with The Electras back in the day, pumping out early hip-hop and electronica rhythmsfrom their boarding school basement.
The band attributes most of their revolutionary sound to the dueling melodies of the saxophone and maracas, as well as the revolutionary drugs they purchased with their parents’ stolen money.
So how long until we are bombarded with attack ads from the right featuring the members of the electras? I can see it now…”John Kerry was never as good a bass player as he said he was”…”He nearly tore the band apart because of his giant ego”…”He once threw his bass at the drummer after being told he wasn’t holding the beat”…
Comment by Bobby Savoy — September 9, 2004 @ 5:25 pm
badum-pish!
Comment by chris — September 9, 2004 @ 5:44 pm
I’ve got a fever…and the only thing that can cure it….is more cow bell.
Comment by gnutz — September 10, 2004 @ 9:46 am