when Kobe Bryant tore the pantaloons off the lass that would later make his life a living hell, he told himself, “I’m not gonna do this like O.J.”
so when the police came calling, Kobe didn’t panic in a white Bronco or hire a ridiculous circus lawyer.
instead, he played his cards right, mellowed out, got Shaq to threaten a bunch of people, and got the charges dropped. unlike O.J., who clumsily ruined his public persona with a long, disturbing trial. he’ll never pitch Odoreaters in this country again.
if you’re a sports megastar and want to beat a serious criminal case, do your trial Kobe-style.
Three dead after IKEA opening in Saudi Arabia
what happens when 20,000 furniture-starved arabs show up to an IKEA store opening? STAMPEDE! YEEEHAW!
Dumbass girls suicides ruled ‘due to witchcraft’
if this isn’t an obvious cop coverup, i don’t know what is. two girls kill themselves to speed up the reincarnation process? i don’t think so.
those girls were coke mules for the local police, and when the cops beat one of them nearly to death, the other one tried to squeal to her parents. the cops, of course, had her house bugged, and arranged to have them killed before any damage could be done. like usual.
[...] Let freedom ring. Almost as exciting as the Ikea stampede. [...]