It couldn’t have happened to a nicer team. Yankees’ pitching is so screwed beyond belief. Mussina sucks, Loaiza sucks, Lieber sucks, Vazquez ain’t lookin so hot, and Sturtze shouldn’t even be in the league. Yankees suck.

Bobby Knight agrees to be subject of new sitcom

Normally, I would expect a decision like this to come out of a desperate, unholy network like NBC or FOX. Instead, this gem is the brainchild of filthmongering, unholy CBS.

With such pointless shows as “Everyone Rubs Raymond” and “CSI: XIV”, CBS is considering adding another fat-guy-with-a-hot-wife-and-zany-life sitcom to the airwaves. Like I told you back in the 1980’s: Bobby Knight will be responsible for the downfall of CBS.

Genital-eating dog on the loose in New Mexico

this is estimated, by me, to be New Mexico’s 57th reported attack by a domestic animal on a person’s gentalia since March. the leading offenders have been pit bulls, with 33 reported cases of rabid, ball-crunching attacks.

surprisingly, four of the attacks have been by lobsters. yeah, weird, huh? i know, that’s what i said. totally. i know. yeah. yep. it’s crazy.