as we all know, electroparanormal forces and
sex-hangings are intricate parts of the Pagan-oriented society. long known as the “most confused people” on the planet, Pagan followers typically express themselves in non-traditional ways, such as listening to heavy metal music and sacrificing girls to the Loch Ness Monster. but beware, it’s all a distraction from something worse.

the latest example of such behavior is this jackass, Kevin Carlyon, aka “Big Pink Lady Z”. he has started a “worldwide” campaign to find some chick slutty enough to respond to an ad for a sacrificial virgin. and when she gets to Big Kevin’s house, he’ll offer a holy sip of his Bartles & Jaymes and awkwardly grab her leg. but when she refuses, he’ll proceed to lose it, kill her, and claim consent and Nessie-related activity.

it’s known to you as the Pagan-Nessie defense. it’s also known as the “biggest loophole in western law.”

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