“Your #1 online source for antique toothpaste”

as we all know, electroparanormal forces and
sex-hangings are intricate parts of the Pagan-oriented society. long known as the “most confused people” on the planet, Pagan followers typically express themselves in non-traditional ways, such as listening to heavy metal music and sacrificing girls to the Loch Ness Monster. but beware, it’s all a distraction from something worse.

the latest example of such behavior is this jackass, Kevin Carlyon, aka “Big Pink Lady Z”. he has started a “worldwide” campaign to find some chick slutty enough to respond to an ad for a sacrificial virgin. and when she gets to Big Kevin’s house, he’ll offer a holy sip of his Bartles & Jaymes and awkwardly grab her leg. but when she refuses, he’ll proceed to lose it, kill her, and claim consent and Nessie-related activity.

it’s known to you as the Pagan-Nessie defense. it’s also known as the “biggest loophole in western law.”

Home page – 1st Press Release – 2nd Press Release

Woman’s tooth gives her sight back

as you might guess, “having a tooth shard in your eyeball” is the #1 cause of blindness in British women. this is due to the exceptionally poor quality of British teeth, which upon being jostled, even lightly, can become shrapnel-like. the pearly crags routinely fly out of Brits’ mouths and lodge into objects, such as floorboards, wives’ eyeballs, and housepets.

and all you have to give is $1 a day. help save a child whose life may be cut short by a British tooth missile. hope is on the way.

8:20AM AST – Gymnast or victim?

Athens - One of the darker secrets of these Olympic Games is the treatment of Russian gymnasts by their coaches in the weeks leading up to their competitions.

One obvious example is Svetlana Khorkina, 2004 silver medalist in the individual overall. Three weeks ago, she was photographed (right near) at her training facility weighing 112 lbs. Last night at the competition (right far), she weighed merely 67 lbs.

Her coaches have been questioned in the matter, but they refuse to reveal the exact methods of torture, invoking the gymnast-master privilege.

	Apollo Creed Greek Olympic Leisure Correspondent
	I ran into my buddy from college at the women’s gymnastics and he talked me into taking some “magic pill”. Apparently I ran onto the floor and started molesting the pommel horse, and then i really went nuts. My trial is set for Sept. 12.