9:00AM AST - Calendar
Athens - A calendar is being planned by the IOC to show off its most confusing assets, female gymnasts. The calendar, tentatively titled “Short & Sweet”, will feature several of this year’s competitors in various poses, such as the ones shown. The IOC says the calendar will promote gymnastics, female equality, and the self-struggle most men feel when seeing such pictures.
3:30PM AST - Panic & Chaos
Athens - at the Olympic Village, where over 10,000 Olympians are residing during the Games, all hell has broken loose as food services has run out of everything except for sweet potato pie. Early reports indicate that the Swedish delegation began setting fire to the cafeteria but in an unrelated incident. Death toll update coming soon. Details to follow.
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Apollo Creed Greek Olympic Leisure Correspondent |
| You know the jackass who dove off a board in a tutu? He was sitting next to me in the stands, and i bet him $100 that he wouldn’t do it. He did, and thanks to the vicious Greek police who took him away, I didn’t even have to pay up. Sweet. |
