Gene blocking turns monkeys into workaholics
welcome to the new age of mind control. instead of the tired, old methods of subliminal messages and torture, the government appears to be developing its next generation of horrifying technology.
Morbidly obese woman dies after skin fused to couch
It seems there’s been a rash of obese people stealing the headlines lately. First, 1,072-lb. man sheds weight daily, and now this crazy lady.
this so-fat-she-became-part-of-the-couch technology could actually be important. if we could easily fuse humans with other objects, we could make Swiss Army People. if you could bond a fork, a bottle opener, and a microwave to your arm, you would. of course you would.
S.A. Zoo Weighs-In on Chupacabra Debate
how often do you get a news story that says, “Devin MacAnally shot the Elmendorph Beast?”
