for the last 9 months i’ve been thinking of a way to review the band.

so, i’ve finally come to the painful realization of my worst fear; they’re raw enough to be called pure.

not to say they sound like led zeppelin, but they’re the 2004 version.

it’s: zep is to rock as what techno is to zep rock.

the technology’s different.

that’s about it.

it’s the music you’d hear in your head as a heroin freak with money to burn.

iffin’ they break up sometime and split up to turn into something, a la yardbirds, i wouldn’t be surprised. i don’t know their story, but i’m sure it’s either hilarious already or has lots of potential.

at first i didn’t like pitchfork’s #1 album of 2003 rating for it, but that’s because i was busy with a broken social scene addiction. but bss is a gateway drug. this is it. not is this it.

RIP rick james.

‘Super Freak’ Rick James dead

the official cause of death is unknown at this time, but we can all assume it will be the punchline of many jokes next week.

RIP, bitch

Update: rick james faked his death. he’s in a hospital right now. but instead of saying he went into rehab indefinitely, they just said he died. so if/when he gets out of rehab, he will either maintain a low profile, plastic surgery style, or reveal himself in the media in a time and manner of his choosing, which would be the publicity trump card.

“#1 Distributor of Spam E-mail in the World”

when it comes to revealing cartoon series character’s faces, there are two ways to go about it. one is to reveal the face in a climactic scene, usually in a feature movie, a la Cobra Commander, in G.I. Joe: The Movie.

the other way is to posthumously release series action figures. for a character such as Dr. Claw, whose face was never shown because of a camera angle trick, an action figure would clearly end the mystery. voila:

is anyone else as pissed as me that they chose to do this? also, Mad Cat could kick Fat Cat’s fat ass any day.

Husband & wife destroy their limos in violent Dorchester chase

and the story just keeps getting better. i cant possibly summarize this any better than what the entire article says. a must read.

Mexican model seeks record breasts

this silly slut has already had 9 implant operations, and she’s planning 4 more, for a record of 13. if you took the amount of saline to be lodged in the dame’s chest, you could fill up a salt-water aquarium large enough to hold 2 adult barracudas and have enough left over to store your contact lenses for a month.

Wine delivery truck overturns, spills cargo on road

For the third time this year, Hawthorne, New York had a pack of hobos lick their streets. as the wine flowed down the drains late Thursday evening, approximately 17 local and non-local hobos were on the scene within minutes, licking up every precious drop they could off the asphalt. it’s estimated that about 400 gallons of wine were consumed and only 170 were lost to the gutters.

in March, the town’s council sponsored a “Street Cleanup Day” at which about 50 hobos were invited and paid $1/hour each to lick the streets of Hawthorne clean. Everyone, including the Mayor and the hobos, agrees it was a success.

and in May, an ice cream truck was stolen and joyridden through the streets of Hawthorne, and ultimately slammed into a telephone pole at 40 mph, causing the frozen cargo to be spilled onto the pavement of Greasewood Avenue. after about only a third of the soft-serve had melted, a half-dozen hobos were on the scene with dangling tongues and makeshift spoons. in mere minutes only a thin, sugary residue remained.