Bush Declares his administration will “Never stop looking for new ways to harm the country.”

Putting Cheney in power, raping the Bill of Rights and the Constitution, losing 3 Million jobs, taking a small segment of people within our country and imprisoning them in Cuba, going into war without a clear plan and bad intelligence, setting our water safety standards to WWII lows, with all of these things under his belt in only 4 years, one would think that he has blown his load, but rest assured people he has got plans for making this place a whole lot worse.

“Training fake CIA informants since 1933″

Want to buy a monkey?

Just in case you have ever wondered how you can find yourself a monkey companion. Maybe you only thought that your dreams of having a monkey meant going to Brunei and illegally purchasing a monkey, using money gained from selling the blood of Thai hookers and hobos. Well you were wrong - there is a legal way of purchasing a fine monkey friend.

Act now and you’ll receive a free 5-year-old can of Diet Pepsi with every purchase of a food-grade monkey! While supplies last.

Viagra protects climbers’ lungs

there’s evidence that the miracle drug for your reproductive organs can be used to benefit the rest of your organs, too. the little blue pill blocks a blood-restricting enzyme, enabling blood to wildly rush through unpredictable parts of your body. now, various studies suggest viagra also acts as a muscle-enhancer, wart-remover, and AIDS treatment, with gene therapy being considered as well.

Romanian man keeps dead cow inside apartment

In protest of a recent price hike in McDonald’s Super Value Menu, this Romanian gentlemen got a cow, let it die in his apartment, and began turning it into delicious meals.

With the man cutting fresh strips off the bloated bovine carcass, in death, the cow provided the protein and vitamins the man could no longer afford, until those nutrients turned into prolific bacteria and mold.

Unfortunately, the man was only able to make approximately 100 meals out of the 6,500 potential servings the cow corpse was estimated to provide before being confiscated.

Cemetary Groundskeeper shoots Former D-List Celeb

Former TV celeb, Gunther Less, yes his name is Gunther , who hosted that long-time syndicated show “Journey to Adventure”, was shot by a groundskeeper while visiting his wife’s grave. But…

What makes this tale even more newsworthy is that Gunther was barely wounded, as he was only shot in the arm, the groundskeeper then proceeded to kill himself, and the story offers no explanation for the events.