Update: Thailand bans orangutan kick-boxing
in a follow-up to a story i didn’t publish earlier, the nation of Thailand has formally outlawed the ancient tradition, leaving many of the orange monkeys jobless and lacking insurance coverage.
the Orangutan KickBoxer’s Association is planning a massive protest at King Kewkacha’s palace on Wednesday, with plans of reversing the decision.
“Thailand cannot survive without orangutan kickboxing. literally. if we are not reinstated, i promise you, millions will die,” leader of the OKBA, Jojo Khao Lak said.
other than Dublin and New York City, Riyadh is actually the #3 city in the world in terms of murders of Irishmen. as a former colony of Ireland, Saudi Arabia boasts the largest Irish population outside of Europe.
with so many Irish pubs within the city limits, Riyadh is a haven for the world-renowned drunkards to mouth off and vandalize. there has been increasing sentiment lately among the Saudis to boot their former masters out of the country once and for all, and this appears to be just one more step in that direction.
Group rejects Beenie Man’s apology for anti-gay remarks
you know he made those remarks just because he’s trying to cover up his own homosexuality. like i’ve said from the start, Beenie Man is the gayest Jamaican dancehall MC ever. well, at least tied for number one with Ballzout the Rappin’ Flame Princess.
This has to be a disaster for Thailand.. there is nothing worse than unemployed orangutans who have been trained to fight roaming the streets with nothing to do and no income.. i fear for the worst.
And wearing SATIN SHORTS!
Why doesn’t Beenie Man write orangutan murder songs to rid us of this problem? Perhaps something involving forced orangutan ingestion of DU. Can I get a witness!?!?!?
A message from Beenie Man’s agent, Clarence McDaskin:
“Beenie Man does not endorse the murder of any kickboxing orangutans, nor will he ever. He wishes to extend his support to the OKBA and all of its members. May the leader be blessed with wisdom as he leads his hordes of monkeys through the streets of Bangkok, and may many, many human lives be sacrificed in the name of equality. Long live the Orangutan!”