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| James Bondage |
Tipped as Pierce Brosnan’s replacement in the James Bond series of films, Eric Bana will set out to become the man responsible for destroying the severely-successful franchise. with a resume that includes the Hulk, and the homoerotic Troy, Bana will be the perfect actor for turning James Bond into the premiere ogrish homosexual spy in the 21st century. this is a far cry from the premiere cunning pimp spy that Sean Connery introduced us to as the original James Bond. finally, Timothy Dalton will no longer be the Worst James Bond in history.
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| Batman Ends |
Christian Bale, whose monotonously effective performance in American Psycho showed audiences that he’s legitimately the perfect actor for a psycho role, will bring that sketchy Costner-on-coke appeal to the big screen in Batman Begins. Putting the long-needed knife into the heart of the Batman franchise of movies, Bale will be opposed by Gary Oldman, an actor we all know, but certainly do not love. Look for record-low ticket sales and a casting director suicide once this gem hits theatres across Rhode Island.
Christian Bale is, however, the hottest Batman around. I’m banking on his now-adult once pre-teen “Newsies” fans (ahem, me. maybe. you didn’t hear me say that.) to save the franchise from *complete* destruction.
Batman Begins will have record low ticket sales? Hahahaha, Good one. You obviously don’t keep up with the media at all. Batman Begins has beaten War of The Worlds and has even finshed close to Star Wars Episode III in nearly all of the online polls. All of the trailers have gotten such great reception thus far and audiences know that this version is much closer to the source, that source being the comics/graphic novels themselves. Not to mention that this is a RESTART of the franchise. This great movie will portray Batman as he should have always been portrayed; as a brooding psycopath. With Christopher Nolan at the helm this movie will be the greatest hero movie ever made. I can’t wait.