“#1 Seller of Antique Tie-Dyed Shirts in Northern Wisconsin”

Crappy old people can’t handle Ronstadt’s opinion

this is ridiculous. this is all because it’s still early in the campaigns and baby boomers are so afraid of choosing sides this soon that they’ll avoid any public opinion that could influence them. they like to sit at their kitchen tables, drink their gourmet coffee, read the paper, and quietly think about the politics they choose to acknowledge. this way, they can answer their kids’ simple questions or calmly explain why they’re right about everything, but when it comes down to a debate, they’d prefer to just drive away in a soothing, non-political Lexus. the 6-cd changer won’t argue why Bush’s foreign policy is a joke and that they’re idiots for thinking it’s legit. and god forbid you ever ask one of them who they’re voting for, they’ll react as if you just slapped their kid on a soccer field. ah, don’t forget that we have these charlatans to thank for making liberalism a cartoon back in the 60’s.

Horse-flesh-flavored ice cream debuts in Japan

when i told you back in 2001: “There will be a sweeping wave of horse-flesh-flavored food products that will start in Japan and take the world market by storm”, you spat on my shoes. well, now i spit in your face. anyway, between the knife-proof childrens’ clothes, cubed watermelons, and now this, who else votes that Japan should not be allowed to invent anything ever again?

The Good:
FBI bulletin sees no credible threat at Boston DNC

The Bad:
Dutch limit abortion ship’s work

The Ugly:
Kirstie Alley to star in reality-comedy series about an overweight celebrity