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February 22, 1980 In early 1980, Dan Rather became America’s first $8-millionaire. Not even the Rockefellers, Vanderbilts, or my family had amassed such wealth. Not 3 weeks after this cover was released, however, Rather hosted a $7,999,999 crack party, and quickly plummeted from the #1 spot of Forbes’ Wealthiest Americans list. |
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July 21, 1980 After expressing tons of regret about holding the Republican Convention in Detroit, the GOP hated on the city, vowing to “blow it up after we’re done with the Middle East.” I guess that means once the Iraq situation gets settled, the Motor City is next on their list. That sound is the rest of Michigan rejoicing. |
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January 21, 1980 If you want to find the weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, look no further than Iowa. Saddam Hussein once controlled 4 Iowa counties, and if Iowa’s supply of wheat grain was ignited, it would have the force of roughly 3 billion atomic bombs. With so many open fields of grain, every meth lab explosion in Iowa has the potential to be Armageddon. |
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June 16, 1980 This sobering report concluded that, in 1980, 79% of America’s public school teachers couldn’t read past the 5th grade level. At the time, America’s education system ranked second-to-last in the world, slightly ahead of Mozambique. But in all fairness to Mozambique, their education budget was $1,400 and it boasted 0 teachers and one caged hamster in a mud classroom. |
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Time Magazine Highlights of 1980 |
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