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Michael Jackson to be father of quadruplets

if this is true, the last one born will be his 7th child, but if my count is right, only one of which by his own devices. Two were in vitro, three were found on the side of the road in Amsterdam, and one by Macaulay Culkin’s “Mad Scientist Kit” he brought over to Neverland one time for he and Michael to play with till the wee hours of the morn. anyway, good for him. i’ll be truly impressed if he can dangle all four of them over a balcony at the same time. good luck, MJ!

Louisiana’s traditional cockfight industry under fire

Two of Louisiana’s oldest traditions have been heavily scrutinized in the past year. Back in March, human rights groups decried the centuries-old practice of killing minorities, only to face tough opposition from the traditionalist majority in the Pelican State. And now this.

Cockfighting, a $150 million industry in Louisiana, has now raised similar objections. In its defense, some hick boldly claims, “This is something our community enjoys participating in. Who is to say whether it is right or wrong?” touche’, old bean, touche’.

Four Inmates Flee Jail, Return With Beer

Now Presenting… the winners of the 2004 Worst-Named Jackass Tennessee Prisoners are…. drumroll… Ridgy Dean Coleman, Jimmy Joe Stapleton, David Wayne Blizzard and ah, what the hell, David Allen Hopkins, too. Between these guys and the guy yesterday who poured nacho cheese all over himself and raided a snack bar, it’s hard to tell if Tennessee is going to survive the decade.

You heard it here first. Tennessee will drop out and Puerto Rico will become our replacement 50th state. it all works out for everyone.

Man In Superman Costume Attacks Motorists

Christopher Reeve needs a vacation. I guess he finally snapped after a lot of years in that chair, and went out looking for some “good ol’ rowdy times”. may god have mercy on his soul.