“#1 Defender of Hungarian Pride on the Web”
July 15, 2004
International Tour of Candies 
| China Whoever first said “this Chinese candy tastes like cocaine” was right. over 85% of candy manufactured in China is made from a cocaine base, that’s why over a billion people can’t get anything accomplished. some say Louis Carroll wrote Alice In Wonderland while “slamming a bag of chinatreats” - whatever that means. |
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| Germany Germans love their candy as sweet as their sailor boys. Long a symbol of German national pride, Horge, the sweet sailor boy, was the swastika’s replacement as the official emblem of the National Socialist Party. Now he can found nearly everywhere, from shipyards to schoolhouses to packages of candy. |
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| Thailand Thailand, while known for its people and weather, is also known for putting cola flavor in everything, food or drink. this candy is essentially the only flavor available on the market, but its popularity is never threatened. thai cuisine also typically features cola curry, soy cola, and cola noodles, making it one of the most unique in all of Southeast Asia. |
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| Greece and you thought Greece was just a country of islands, goats, and blackouts. this particular brand’s name translated into English means “Fruit from the Loin of Zeus” because according to Greek lore, ambrosia was a wonderful treat sprung from the honches of Zeus himself, which every Greek, from King to goat, enjoyed once a year during the Festival of Sex. it’s like the Woodstock of the 8th century B.C. |
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| England i think we’d all agree, the English have never had a “taste for food”. after wolfing down boiled beet stew for starters, boiled beef stew for the entree, and boiled beer to wash it down, the typical Englishman will retreat to his study for an after-dinner can of peas. Processed Irish peas have always had a special place in English hearts. A warm can of Irish peas after dinner is a symbolic gesture. Each pea represents a raid carried out in Ireland by a division of the English army in the year 1632. Both England and Ireland were defined that year. |
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Is It Really Thursday
Brando Ends Film Career As Elderly Woman
most of the time, i find it hard to respect Marlon Brando’s film career, and today is no exception. i’ll probably never forgive Brando for how perfectly he played Kurtz by being such a disgusting bastard, but the last role of his career is the clincher.
for some reason, Starvin’ Marlon lent his voice as an old maid (pictured left) to the animated comedy “Big Bug Man”, starring the illustrious Brendan Fraser, which is set for a 2006 release. but his eldest son defended his father’s artistic honor and told USA Today recently that the late Mr. Brando actually signed onto the project because he was “extremely broke” and suffering through a “crippling peanut butter addiction”, not because he actually viewed it as art.
Most Messed Up Story Ever
you must read this now.
Vermont Town Makes Moves To Join New Hampshire
usually, the reason that a town chooses to secede from Vermont is because of the massive landfill problem, but this time, a tax dispute has been blamed.
in order to pay for the Starfish Bridge in Williamston, which is made entirely of compressed cocaine, the Vermont legislature recently raised the state property tax to unheard-of 84%. before the motion to secede, this town’s residents had set fire to several state senators’ barnsin protest, but the high tax still remained. stay tuned.
at the time of this report, the man who lives with 100 goats was not available for comment.
Slim-Fast dumps Whoopi for making sexual jokes about President Bush
no spokesperson in the history of advertising has been fired as many times as Whoopi Goldberg. for Ms. Goldberg, this is firing #17 in a 23-year career.
Past reasons for termination include: nearly beating an AT&T executive to death while working for Sprint, trapping a homeless man in a cocoon of Scotch Tape , and shoving Snackwell’s bars down Oprah’s throat on national tv.
