“Official Homepage of the English Channel”

Oklahoma judge pumps, shaves, and pleasures himself during trial

seriously, when it comes to public self-pleasurement, does anyone do it better than Oklahoma judges? due to some bizarre law written in 1874, all judges presiding in Oklahoma are required to wear nothing under their robes. so it’s pretty tempting to say the least.

problem is, there’s always one showboat with some booze in his gullet who whips out his penis pump and razor, spends 15 minutes loudly prepping, and then goes ahead and bangs his gavel in front of everyone. there’s always “that guy”

Insane dad climbs church in Batman costume to get kids back

times have been tough for the caped crusader lately, with the police budgets skyrocketing, general lack of zany criminals, and having to fork over for robin’s HIV drug prescriptions.

all the masked marvel wants is a little quality time with his kids, and i have to agree, screaming at the top of church scaffolding to get them back is clearly his only option.

German superbaby with muscles to take over world

this uberfreak child seems all good now, but when he’s about 15, and decides to walk his 1000 lbs. of pure muscle around the bavarian countryside, and 350 people and a herd of goats end up dead, i’ll be saying i told you so from no less than 10,000 miles away.

there’s buzz around germany about cloning the child for some sort of “protective force”, but ubermensch funding has dropped dramatically in the last 30 years. Hitler was not immediately available for comment.