General: Troops in Iraq Now Have Body Armor

until now, there has been a shortage of bulletproof vests in Iraq, which forced many soldiers to pay for body armor themselves. which means those troops were sent to war without necessary equipment, and expected to spend several thousand of their own dollars to buy it. and the shortage is over because manufacturers made more. and you thought we cared about our troops…tsk….

Denny’s Cook Served Semenized Chicken Wings

urgh…sadly, this only ranks as the #6 Reason to Avoid Denny’s At All Costs. i swear, the one time i’ve ever been to denny’s, one of the sausage links i ordered actually had a big rat bite in it.

anyway, one of the cook’s victims apparently was a male police officer that had given him a traffic ticket. let this be a warning to all cops: any ticket you ever issue could end up like this. so don’t issue any more tickets. ever.

Extraterrestial Currency Developed in Bulgaria

some bulgarian currenciologist has managed to successfully develop a single, “cosmic” currency before the heavily-favored US/China research team.

after a moderate upset, the bulgarian team will have the honors of chosing the design of the “galactos”, and rumors speculate a portrait of former Entertainment Tonight host, John Tesh, will be chosen.

Western Airliners May Be al-Qaida Target

is it just me, or this a non-headline? ever since about 10AM on 9/11/01, i’ve pretty much assumed this to be true and capable of happening every single day since.

the militants behind this warn non-Westerners, “We ask them to return to the right path, to separate themselves from non-believers, to become their enemies and to fight holy war against them by money, word and weapon.”

referring to anything as “money, word, and weapon” rocks