In the worst shin-related experience i’ve had since i saw the band play at the Roxy earlier this year, both of my tibialis anterior muscles have been destructively painful all weekend and continue to be as i write.

the horrible, horrible inflammation of said muscles, commonly known as shin splints makes me wonder why walking was ever invented. i’m about to pull a jimmy kimmell and down an unhealthy amount of advil.

next time you think it’s a good idea to walk many, many stumbling miles around a city of fair size, be sure you stop about every 100 feet to rest your precious legs. it just took me about 2 minutes to walk 50 feet down the hall. which is 3 seconds longer than usual.

on friday night, we went to Ned Devine’s at Faneuil Hall, and at some point around midnight, i walked off. i decide to take myself a nice long walk through the city.

i stopped at various places, did various things, overall it took about 4 hours or so, i walked about 7 or 8 miles, i have no idea, and ended up in dorchester. here’s the map of my path, which is surprisingly accurate.

Fake Cop Nabbed With Naughty Badge

Click pic to see

clearly one of the most elaborate attempts at getting some, ever.

unfortunately for this guy, finding a woman in miami is somehow difficult, forcing him to resort to heinous fakecoppery, including a customized badge that is truly the sign of our times.

i bet you every cop in america has one like this though…

Wheelie crash injures three children

this totally reminds me of that episode of the simpsons, i think it’s ‘take my wife, sleaze’, where homer rides a motorcycle down the street, pops a wheelie, and the bike just flies way into the air and over the house or through the roof or something. been looking for a picture of that online all morning.

Sammy Sosa Throws Out Back While Sneezing

sammy’s always been a comical guy. back in ‘93, with the white sox, sammy wore a bucket of paint on his head during batting practice as a dare, got beaned in the head intentionally 5 times, then walked down the stairs in the dugout, and sprained his neck. then with the cubs in ‘99, sammy brought a lion to the park, and had the lion play right field for him for 3 innings. so this is just another edition of sammy’s classic hilarity, whose brand of comedy always ends up in plenty of his own physical damage. gold.

i’ve been here at work for about 5 minutes and the first gay couple of the pack just got their marriage license. two women just got theirs at like 8:36. about 20 people and 10 cameras have been following them around.

now i guess someone else just got their license too, bringing the decibel level of the hallway outside my room to 120, roughly equivalent to a 747 taking off. but everything’s been smooth so far, with no christian activists or anti-marriage advocates throwing molotov cocktails in here. solid.

of course i forgot my camera this morning, but maybe i can get it at lunch if stuff is still going on by then. more developing…

“Ontario’s #1 Pizza Delivery Service”