Jimmy Kimmel Goes On Air as Face Swells
nothing like a good ol’ advil OD to wreck your television face.
if he were truly a comedian, he’d accidentally take another 6 advils to reduce his headache from the swelling.
macrocephalic humor is back.
Canada’s First Cameraphone Porn Conviction; Countless More Expected
not only was this dude caught for “manufacturing & distributing”, but it was technically child porn too. ha. his girlfriend is 17 so that means 6 months in jail and no cell or computer for 2 years.
prosecutor: “We want to deter the public — people who might be thinking of doing this type of thing — from committing these types of crimes,”
that’s the famous canadian school of criminal thought that boasts an impressive .0000001% cameraphone porn involvement in the national population
British Birdwatchers Observe Fake Owl For Days
the only reason any birdwatching enthusiast would ever confuse a regular owl for an owl decoy is because he/she was british. it’s common in the british isles to confuse something dead or inanimate for something alive, because most things living there, from any significant distance, do, in fact, appear to be dead.
in a recent poll, 90% of english people surveyed wish they could actually be mannequins instead of people. this clearly explains the enormous british population in wisconsin.
Nippin’ it in the bud there, dontcha know. Canadians don’t mess around eh.
Comment by D — May 14, 2004 @ 9:56 am
They (the british) should just stick to writing Harry Potter books and Dentistry.
Comment by dominican machete — May 14, 2004 @ 12:29 pm
Sadly this is not the first time this happened in england, once a year ago they thought that had spotted an aged white owl… turned out to be Stones drummer Charlie Watts.
Comment by Snackmaster3000 — May 14, 2004 @ 1:41 pm
Clearly this is what happens when you get ornithology tips from ex-pink floyd frontman Syd Barrett
Comment by Snackmaster3000 — May 14, 2004 @ 1:42 pm
This is not the first time such a mistake was made. I was walking out of the National Gallery in London when a british guy shot my fake owl right off my shoulder — I still have plastic shrapnel lodged behind my ear!
Comment by Joseph Mama — May 14, 2004 @ 1:55 pm
this is not the first time i’ve heard this story. i read an article a while back that a British teenager tweaked out of his mind on homemade meth was walking across town, intending to kill his baby mama, but was interrupted by what he thought was the Tootsie Roll Owl, taunting him, shaming him for not knowing how many licks it took, so he shot the plastic bird with all 6 rounds, only to realize the taunts were still audible, and that the owl was indeed, not real.
Comment by c4 — May 14, 2004 @ 1:59 pm
Why does this sound like something that could potentially delay the completion of Mason’s thesis?
Comment by Hiest — May 14, 2004 @ 2:25 pm
His thesis could be severly delayed just by reading our inane comments!
Comment by Joseph Mama — May 14, 2004 @ 2:46 pm
with the power of Thor emerging from the sunlit bosom of the clouds above, the wicked temptress Irony thrusts her dagger into scott’s gut, leaving us to survive the worst comment ever.
Comment by c4 — May 14, 2004 @ 2:50 pm
Thor an his wicked temptress can suck my wank!
Comment by Joseph Mama — May 14, 2004 @ 4:24 pm
This is not the first time
this is not the first time
gorilla dance
gorilla dance
Comment by gnutz — May 14, 2004 @ 5:58 pm