Invention o’ the day:

FanPants

some of the features include:

-to provide padding in the form of an oversized buttocks positioned in the seat of the pants

-to provide numbered apparel that could be used to win cash and/or prizes

check it out.

Woman sentenced to three years for setting friend on fire in foreplay act

i guess i can’t get too angry. i warned that you shouldn’t set yourself on fire. i never mentioned anything about setting friends on fire. especially for sexually deviant purposes. please proceed.

Car crashes after woman gives birth in back seat; Husband killed

can you imagine the irony if the baby had been ejected from the car?

question is, what caused the crash? seems like the driver managed to hold off until a human was completely born in the close proximity of the backseat before losing complete control of the vehicle and killing himself and nearly everyone else.
Motorist RUNS into own car; gets sent insurance bill

yeah, you heard right. this guy leaves his car parked without the parking brake so a few seconds later he notices it’s rolling down the hill. so he chases after it, and when the car slams into a curb and stops, he kept running and smashed right into it.

while he managed to stick his head through a window, he also smashed the hell out of some rear panels, causing him terrible, terrible international embarassment.

Lowe’s Customer Bitten by Rattlesnake

broken arrow, reprazent!

long known for being notoriously populated by many thousands of skunks, it appears Broken Arrow, OK may now have a new predator in town, the sweet rattlesnake.

this may just turn out to be Home Depot’s latest attempt to attract Lowe’s customers, but either way, it’s extremely effective.

p.s. i once ran over a rattlesnake with my lawnmower. in a motion not all that dissimilar to the Chappelle’s show animation i posted the other day.

“Playing 10 minutes of commercial-free music every hour from the 70’s and 90’s”

i’m not going to cop out by saying “first of all, i’m not saying i’m a great writer”…so instead i’ll say “at least i’m better than this”

some clown for the Boston Globe, who hopefully isn’t buying food with the paycheck his writing earns, apparently attended the Air show at Avalon on Monday and felt compelled to write the worst review he could come up with.

so i’ve gone through, for educational purposes, to point out its many, many, numerous faults so that his mistakes may never be repeated again.

also, if you, the guy who did the Globe’s review, ever read this, please contact me.

Click on the thumbnail below