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Vermont man proclaims self “Master of the Goat”

before you rush to harsh judgment on the state of Vermont like we all want to do, keep in mind that people in Vermont are very, very different from us. that’s just the way it is. their entire way of thinking is nearly the opposite of what we’re used to.

“In Virginia, that house would have been condemned. Here in Vermont, we do things a little differently.”

as we all know, Vermont was essentially founded upon the mighty haunches of the Goat, as, for centuries, miners piled valuable marble and limestone onto their backs from the quarries around the state that would later become crucial to New England’s trash dumping crisis. goats in Vermont are the equivalent to the domesticated cat to the rest of the United States, therefore, such passionate fondness between a Vermont man and his 300 goats is locally passed off as “normal” if not “impressive”.

Turkmenistan president first bans circuses, now gold teeth

this guy, who apparently has “unlimited powers” in this country, is going to shred the fragile civility of the Turkmenistani people if he’s not careful.

if there’s one thing that the people of Turkmenistan love more than the circus, it’s their gold teeth. the economy of T-stan is almost entirely self-reliant thanks to the gold teeth industry, and this is just another attempt by the President to destroy the only thing he’s ever loved.