why is it that every “Reduced Fat” label on any product ever is GREEN?

does the green color subconsciously give you the “green light” to go ahead and eat the whole box?

also, i remember one time, Andy Rooney on 60 Minutes asked “where does all the fat that they reduce go?” it was the first time i ever wanted to beat a senior citizen

Southyrn Comfort - New England’s Classic Southern Rock Band!

Molly Hatchet guitarist’s wife found dead

OMFG!!!!!! wait. who? man, i hope for sweet irony’s sake a hatchet was used.

March Job Growth Strongest in 4 Years

i just want to make the point that this has NOTHING to do with Dubya, but actually due to how:

“workers returned after a grocery store strike and construction hiring bounced back on better weather”

if dubya attempts to takes any unnecessary credit for this, i’m moving to peru.

Wrong woman hurt in ‘rape fantasy’ tryst

i can’t stress enough how important it is to double check the address you’re supposed to break into when you do your montly rape fantasy.

unless you’re a cop and have free license to accidentally bust into someone’s house and terrorize them, i suggest you keep detailed records of your victims so you don’t misrape any innocent bystanders.

‘Simpsons’ actors strike over pay dispute

not that we really care about rich and famous people squabbling over money, but i’m sure some of you do.

also, what’s up with every journalist feeling the need to use a snappy title for their report on this? will simpsons fans pass over their article if it doesn’t amuse them like that jackass professor guy on the show? man, i hate that character.

“Official Website of the Drunk Chick”